Let’s Face It….

YIKES! I did it again! Somehow, on this fancy schmantzy laptop my son purchased for me I hit the icon for ‘Face Time’. Now…I do not care to see my face anytime. Age has not been kind, nor have the scales. And I absolutely hate wearing glasses. So…all of a sudden I am typing away and boom! There I am looking back at me all scared and shocked and such. It is a traumatic thing to see me on the screen of a computer. I barely belong staring at the screen of a computer due to my incompetencies. And as Gomer Pyle would say, “Shazzam!” There I am looking at me with such utter technological befuddlement.  It is an eye-opening experience…and not a good one either. Kinda like one of those carnival mirrors…except the distortion is reality.

My son needed a computer when he was working in LA. So, I told him to get what he could use but that it would be my machine when he returned home. He said, “Mom you really would get more use out of a lap top.” Guess he hadn’t looked at my lap lately.  So…he made the purchase for me. I have a Mac Book Pro Laptop. Which is like buying me a Porsche when I am still catching the bus. More bells and whistles and Face Time than I will ever use. My favorite part of this thing is that when I send email, it looks like a paper airplane and makes a ‘whoosh’ sound. I absolutely love it!

Forget all the other gadgets. The capabilities of this guy is beyond my little brain. But that’s okay. I prefer to call this laptop a ‘Plop Top’ as I have plopped it down on the desk in my laundry room and there it sits. But, it gets me around my lil’ network of email, Facebook, and blogging. It doesn’t pay the bills, send me reminders, or send photos to friends. Nope…it just sits here and scares the bejezzus out of me when I hit Face Time. Now…accidentally hitting that icon is an annoyance, but the first time I about peed my pants. I wondered who out in cyberspace  had stolen my face. I mean, it’s not much to look at but hey–it’s mine. How relieved I was when with I started hitting buttons and I–it went away.

Wonder if there’s a way to bring my image up on Face Time and erase some of the time from my face. Like, the chubby cheeks, wrinkles, and the bags under my eyes. Guess the technology has not advanced that far. So, be careful out there with your computer. One day you might hit a button and see yourself staring back at you. Or worse yet…it could be me!

If there is anyone who could get lost in the digital age out in some WiFi Wonderland, it would be me. Just send me home. And if you can….book me flight on that paper airplane from my email account. “Wooosh!” Or should I say “Shazzam!”