Have you missed me? I caught the “ItsGoin’Around.” You know, the crud that puts the ‘A’ in achy, the ‘H’ in headache and the gratitude for indoor plumbing. I didn’t have the, “Take me now, Sweet Jesus “ItsGoin’Around.” I was crummy but I have been a lot worse. This was a teaser. I felt like I had it licked, then the stomach would misfire and the proverbial truck would run over my back and I was back to pity city.
But I was well taken care of with the luxurious fare of saltines, toast, ibuprofen, and pediatric electrolyte solution. Nothing makes you feel like a kid again until you take a swig of that stuff. It is awful! Like the glucose tolerance tests of pregnancy without the viscosity. I am sure my wonderful daughter had my electrolytes in mind when she dropped it off. But was that a devilish smirk on her face as she drove off? What’d I ever do to her? Oh yeah. Probably made her drink that same stuff with the stamp of motherhood: “Drink it. It’s good for you.” And to think I have done the same thing to grandchildren. I so apologize.
I made good use of that one hour I felt decent each day. I graded papers, caught up with some correspondence, and saved money and gas by being laid up. The dogs are ready for me to get out of their space, I am sure. But I did watch some movies on my Kindle Fire. Yeah….about thirty.
Oh, not really. What I did watch were the movie trailers. I tell ya…Hollywood had ADD adults like me in mind. Yeah…you tap on the screen, invest about 60 seconds in the story line, characters, setting, conflict, resolution and voi`la…you have seen the film. Kinda like reading the blurb on some books. The stuff in between is just….stuff. I know, pretty low blow coming from an author.
But I’ve gotta tell ya…after watching all of those movie trailers, I got hooked on the graphics and filming of the studio stuff. You know…the part where the lion opens his mouth and growls, or the lady stands there like a movie star Statue of Liberty. Well, I found a lot of those to be pretty cool. Like the films from ‘LionsGate’. A grinding of gears and movie reels which morphs into a big key and portal which unfolds to mysterious worlds and such. Or the Universal tag which starts out like a huge sunrise and engulfs the planet. Then, there’s Warner Brothers. Just not feeling it.
Oh and another thing. They trick you. Yeah…in my weakened and ill state they took unfair advantage of me. I really thought I could be on the cutting edge of cinema discussions as I read the words: “New Release” See it Before it Comes Out” or “In Theaters in June” and this is March. And then I see the years…2005, 2009, 2011. Umm, yeah. I think someone needs to get out a bit more.
Guess I won’t be spoiling the ending to any of those new releases.
Now you may be thinking that I squandered my sick days with Hollywood. Not true. I slept, checked out FB, avoided phone calls, and munched on tea and toast. I finally took a shower….my first intentional act into entering the world of the recovered. And that was just because the dogs insisted on it. When they start bringing you clean underwear and socks instead of running off and burying it, that is a sure sign they mean action.
Well, I must end this blog and think about tomorrow and drag myself back to the real world. Wonder if that LionsGate promo will blast me into the cinematic screen we call life.
I know. Too much electrolyte solution can have some bad effects. Be careful out there. “It’sGoin’Around.”