Ongoing Stories of My Soul

Look over my shoulder as I ponder life.

An I-Pod Touch and a Fanny Pack….I’ve Got This!!

Well,  my four Santa-Children purchased their mother–me– an I-Pod Touch. I am thrilled for two reasons. One, this is what I said I wanted, which means that one of them finally listened to what I said. (Mothers out there will take this as a miracle!) Secondly, I am now able to listen to the music of my choice simply by touching a screen. But I really thought this i-pod thing was a small square-ish thing with an ear bud. Kind of like asking for a moped and getting a Lexus, if you ask me.

Which leads me to a new challenge. I have no idea how to use this thing. Are we surprised? I know what they are doing…they are setting me for a cell phone which I have no desire to own. The way I see it, learning how to use this electronic device is like drinking the ‘prep’ stuff for a colonoscopy. Once you get through that, the procedure is a breeze. So, if I can learn how to operate this gadget, then a cell phone is the next step. Can I just add that giving Deb Hall a cell phone is as dangerous as me packing a handgun? Think about that for a while. I am unsure that the world is ready for me to be able to tell a story to a list of ‘victims’ on my contact list—whenever I feel the need to tell one. And NO ONE needs me to pull out a Magnum or a Glock and say, “FREEZE!” My cop son says that I would probably know the perpetrator and would strike up a conversation saying something like, “Leroy, didn’t I have you in fifth grade? Put down that gun.” And there we would be. He would be held captive by a long, boring, story and my weapon would be lost at the bottom of my purse. Yep, I will stick to using hornet spray. (If I remember to get it out from under my sink).

But I digress. Back to the I-Pod Touch. I really think this techno-pop-tart is cool. I mean, I love having information at the end of my thumb. Umm…does one use his/her thumb when using the keyboard? Anyway, I have a Siri Person, which I have always found cool. A personal valet of answers. SO….I made my Siri a male voice with a British accent. Fun huh?  (I laughingly referred to him as my Siri-bi***). I didn’t trust him, so I asked him/it a few questions about space exploration. He got them all correct, so I guess it/he can be trusted. I mean, the teacher in me knew that it had to pass a test before I would ask it important stuff like who was on ‘Days of Our Lives’ in 1972? I did like the idea that I can find out what aircraft is flying over my head, or who did the voice for an animated movie, or look at the constellations outside. It has its possibilities.

But I am very worried I will drop it. I mean, it is thin and fragile. So last night, when I met up with my family, I wrapped it up in paper towel and put it in a baggie. Oh, the kiddos laughed and laughed. UNTIL I started to leave and then dropped my purse. Yep, before I walked out of the door it was in bubble-wrap inside the baggie.They know me so well.

My next dilemma is how to keep track of the darn thing. I mean, I lose my keys regularly. My sanity, constantly. You know that old saying on why old women can’t have babies? It is because we would lay them down and forget where we left them. Well, I can’t very well lose my children’s Christmas gift. So I have a solution.

A fanny pack. Yeah! I can put my I-Pod Touch in my little pack and strap it to me. Then, I am told, I can measure my steps and track my progress on getting fit. I also can prevent certain folks from stealing it from me. Lord knows they aren’t desperate enough to go through my fanny pack to take my new gizmo.

Hey!!! I could put my gun in there, too! Think it would scratch the i-pod screen?

One thing at a time. I must learn to figure out how to make it work.

But this is why I have nine grandchildren. Once they get done rolling their eyes and screaming, “Mamaw Debbie….it is not that hard!” I will master this thing.

After all, I did learn how to work a Boom Box and a VCR. Game on.